One of the most recent emails received from my teacher, Jen, was inspired by a highway road sign that a student/friend had seen on his vacation travels. It read, "SLOW DOWN AND LIVE" and was probably meant to protect highway workers and drivers from having an accident in areas of construction, but struck him in a new way. To be mindful and slow down in your life allows you to truly live in the moment!
live one breath at a time
I realized when we are able to be present in each moment, we feel more content in our lives. Rushing around and multi-tasking, living our lives jam packed with stimulation and information leaves us feeling empty and disconnected. To tune in and notice the small things, appreciate the little special moments, is truly to live wholly and fully. Try taking a mundane activity like doing the dishes and begin to tune in to the senses, the smell of the dish soap, the weight of a bowl in your hands, the feel of running warm water. Slow down.
Have had a busy few weeks. I have had some ups and downs, but the thing that stands out to me the most from these chaotic days is my general shift in attitude. I have been able to let go, if even a little bit, more than normal and take some space around situations that make me uncomfortable.
"Little darling, the smile's returning to their faces,
It seems like years since its been here...."
Finding a way to step back for a while and give myself time to process why I am uncomfortable with a particular situation allows me to approach it with more understanding and peace. There is truly so much to learn from these uncomfortable places and so much light that you can bring to others when you try....
Today I am grateful for taking time, for the opportunity to grow and for savasana under the trees.
I haven't had a chance to blog because of a busy week and some big fun....mainly our new BIG, fun puppy...Duke (short for Marmaduke). He is a Great Dane mix, about 4 months old, and was living at the humane society and needed a home. Yeah, so that's that. He's a sweet, large pup with a very cute face and very very large feet. Our old dog, Bear, is coping well...we are proud of both!
Bear and Duke
The last week or so I have been teaching everyday. What made this daunting week a little easier was the love and sweet thoughts of my family and friends! I had so much support this week...received flowers two different times, gifts of special soaps and candles, concerned text messages and emails and so many sweet smiles and hugs. It was an amazing show of love and I am truly humbled all around! Namaste!
Still, it would be okay if everything just mellowed out for a minute...
climb it out (and up)
Then I treated myself to a little gift (more like a little therapy): went climbing today with 'Drea, Kristen and Tim at Upper Limits, West County, talked Tim into buying me a nice, new prAna yoga mat, and even had homemade pizza topped with homegrown veggies from my student's garden afterwards!
It was an absolutely perfect finish to a full week.
So I took a class with a teacher, Sat Inder, this week that I have been looking forward to meeting for some time now. I have been hearing his name in the yoga community, as well as many differing descriptions (and opinions) of this character, for months now. We are facebook friends, I follow his blog and enjoy it very much and due to some studio business I have had to email him a few times but I had never met him in person. Actually that's not true...I saw him once in the hallway at a studio where he teaches and said hello.
The time came for me to finally take his class with another teacher friend of mine. I enjoyed his hour of power and even got out of bed at the crack of dawn to trek over to the city to attend...not to mention the horrors of morning rush hour traffic! Aaaarrgh! But it was all worth it...I try not to form my opinions of others via their experiences and stories. I like to make up my mind for myself...still I had a feeling that I would enjoy his personality and teaching style based on the things that I had heard..."irreverent" "straight-forward" and yes even "vulgar" at times. What can I say? I have a good sense of humor and don't mind a naughty joke once in awhile so this didn't deter me. I also really enjoy folks who don't take themselves too seriously. We also both follow the Law of Attraction, the Teachings of Abraham and he often posts the Abraham quote of the day on his facebook. I enjoy his posts and sense of humor very much.
His class was great...vinyasa flow with lots of juicy adjustments at a warm 85 degrees. I am completely sore in many places today (the day after) but it was exciting to learn that I am able to bind in ways I didn't know that I could. I liked his no-fuss attitude, although I didn't get to experience any of the irreverent or vulgar during this class. He was a very kind and extremely knowledgeable teacher. The funniest part is...and I couldn't actually tell him because I would have sounded like a complete lunatic... but I had a dream about him a few weeks ago. I think it was because I have been so looking for an opportunity to connect with him in some way. Well, he had this spectacular beard which he would weave into a braid (I've seen pics) and I dreamed that he showed up at a party at my house with his beard trimmed so short! Again, I dismissed this dream as a funny piece of my mind created by who knows what?? (Monkey mind for sure!) When we showed up at his class, his beard was about 6 inches shorter....mind you that it was still much longer than in my dream....but it definitely threw me for a loop. Dreams are very mysterious and trying to decipher them can make you mad as a hatter. So for now I will just let dreams be dreams....
It's been a busy and wonderful week. Here are the highlights:
My shipment of yoga clothes from prAna arrived this week, a birthday gift from my better half who spoils me rotten. I would never have spent this kind of money on exercise clothes, I mean...I am a yoga teacher...I have no money. So I was a bit skeptical at the prices and whether the clothes would really be that much better quality than my Target and Kohl's outfits. I was so delightfully surprised! Inside of the brown paper package (can't help but sing "A Few of My Favorite Things" from Sound of Music) was the most beautiful, soft and well-fitting yoga clothes I have ever worn. On the outside of the package was written the same thing that was filling my mind....Thank you prAna for understanding.
Exactly!
The weekend was a lovely one. Just hot enough to feel like summer but not so hot that you are glued to the a/c. I taught a wonderful outdoor class on Saturday morning and had a record attendance of 14 people! It is finally beginning to feel like a community class and I couldn't be more pleased. After the outdoor class I taught for another teacher friend so that she could attend a bigger, more attended outdoor class in St. Louis. It must have been a good weekend for outdoor yoga because I was able to convince a few dear yogi friends to join me at our teacher's (Emmet's) outdoor class this morning in Kirkwood Park. It was exactly what I needed and what I had been waiting for all week....I am so glad I got the opportunity to go. I needed Emmet's words, the blue sky and my friend's company so much today. I would not have traded it for the world.
Opportunities are all around us. I have been teaching, or rather trying to teach, a vinyasa class on Tuesday mornings and since I took over the time slot...no one has showed up. I have been taking the time to use the studio for my own personal practice.
My Tuesday morning retreat: Edwardsville Fitness Studio (in lower level)
Although I have been longing for a full vinyasa class, I am patient and it has definitely not been time lost for me. I have been teaching more and more often and have begun to lose the strength of my own personal practice in the last few weeks. I feel the universe is offering up this time and space for me to use and its important for me to be open to the different ways that I can use it.
"Practice and all is coming."
-Sri K Pattabhi Jois
I have hope that I will have students on Tuesdays eventually...maybe it's because it is summer, maybe it needs to be earlier or later, maybe it should be a community class or maybe... who the heck knows why?? For now, it has been a beautiful sacred time that I have spent in a fantastic and dreamy studio reconnecting with my practice and enjoying some of the best company I know....me! Come join me and reconnect with your practice!
Climbing is good for your soul, at least mine and Tim's souls. We went to the new climbing gym in St. Louis, Climb So Ill....it was super ILL!! I even needed a doctor at one point, luckily Dr. Patti (resident climbing psychotherapist) was there to help me get used to the feeling of dangling in the air. I have a slight phobia of heights, it's no secret. I have been surprised at my level of calm when climbing and I think it is helping me defeat this fear. Although I tend to think of my phobia as silly, it is truly a self-preservation instinct to not want to plummet to your death. Patti explained that if I allowed myself to stay in that dangling place and wait it out, my body and mind have no choice but to relax. You can only stay at that panicky, heightened state for 10 minutes or so before you have to adapt and let go. It is the same with climbing. At first your body and mind wants to cling to that wall with every tiny fiber of your being, screaming internally...DON'T FALL!!
After a few routes, your body relaxes and your mind is able to accept that you are safe even if you do fall. Then the real fun begins, you are able to take more risks and let loose. So I climbed up with the intention of just hanging out at the top for a bit, staring down the distance between me and the floor. As I purposely dangled from a rope and looked down a few floors, I saw Patti and 'Drea, Tim and the rest (Mike, Jessica and Dave) waiting for me on the ground--smiling and supportive. After about 5-10 minutes, I was able to relax, sit back in the harness and even gaze down beneath me to the ground without grasping for the rope or generally freaking out! I found my breath and my heartbeat slowed, Patti was right--you can only panic for so long. It was a really beautiful moment for me and I feel like I have left some of that fear behind me, or maybe above me.
Peace at the top!
For Tim it was a different type of therapy. He had been so stressed out with work, which is fairly common lately, and I wasn't sure if that stress would interfere with his climbing. In true Tim-form, it didn't. I expected him to be terrific at climbing from the get-go, and I was right. Tim is determined and focused and loves a good puzzle. The total concentration that climbing requires is fantastically therapeutic! You can only focus on what is happening in this very moment, where you are going next and how to get there. It allows for no other worries or troubles to creep into your mind. You are forced to leave it all behind. Exactly what Tim needed! We had some lunch with our new climbing crew and it was a great day all-around. On the car ride home, I noticed a big grin spread across Tim's face (haven't seen that grin in a while) and a lighter note in his voice as we talked about how much fun we had and when we could come back again. It's been a long time since I have seen Tim at ease in that way, blissed out a little really, and it made me so happy to see him relax and share this fun day with me and some really special friends.
The video from Fox 2's Tim Ezell visit to Hot Yoga finally aired on tv this week and I thought you might enjoy seeing the final result and learning a little more about Hot Yoga of Edwardsville. Click on the link below to watch:
Also wanted to share another video that explains a little more about this practice via the owner Dr. Bridget Brasfield. This video was taken at our studio at a Business After Hours Chamber of Commerce event! Meet our staff and listen to a testimonial by clicking on the link below:
Birthday #35 was the most wonderful experience! Dear friends, old and new, tried and true, all showed up to celebrate the fact that I am alive! What could be more inspiring? This year is going to be spectacular, I can feel it in my bones! Family from far and wide sent their warmest wishes, deepest love and way too many fabulous gifts. Best friends from high school and college surprised me by traveling hundreds of miles to surprise me at my birthday BBQ.
"We are all travelers in the wilderness of this world, and the best we can find in our travels is an honest friend."
-Robert Louis Stevenson
New friends that have allowed me into their lives came to wish me a happy day and many more. All showered me with kindness, generosity and some of the best gifts I have received. My favorite gift was this beautiful gathering of souls that are so very dear to me and all of the sincerest hopes and wishes that were sent my way! I cherished each and every one and was delighted to return that love and gratitude. I have never felt more loved and I am certain there are no words for how much each and every person in my life means to me at this moment! The gift of this breath, this life, this present moment are so precious!
New Magazine Day!!
2 in the mail today and one gifted to me for b-day will be read lounging poolside.
I am looking at a two week stretch of being temporarily childless, beginning tomorrow, as my daughter travels to Missouri to spend some well deserved time with her dad. So I have constructed a plan to keep my busy while she is away....new magazines by the pool, The Hunger Games at bedtime, long walks with Bear, climbing with 'Drea and Tim, and lots and lots of yoga. I have a special restorative class coming up next Friday to teach and a partner yoga workshop that I signed up to take with my sweet friend Mary. I have also taken on teaching 3 new vinyasa classes and am looking forward to getting those going! I still want to make a few more eye pillows but need more flax and dried lavender, so I am looking forward to shopping trip to Green Earth and may even venture into the city to Trader Joe's to stock up on coconut water (it's half price there compared to Green Earth). I have new books to read, cds to listen to and I even looked at some of the old puzzles on the shelves as a backup plan for whittling down those long, daughter-free days.
CPR training this week went very well. So, now if anyone ever really does have a problem in one of my classes I can assist. I am comforted to have formal training on how to revive someone by providing CPR. When I was a child, my dad taught CPR training. I can still remember the large, strange-looking dummy that students practiced mouth-to-mouth on, Annie was her name I think, and the huge duffle bag in which she was stored. Much has changed since those days, so I am told by our CPR instructor, but the dummies are still just as creepy as I remember. Of course, I hope to never have to use CPR and I also hope that goes without saying.
I am having a ghost-town of a week, my schedule totally clear by some random collision of events. Memorial Day happened and my Sunday and Monday classes were all cancelled and then the hot yoga studio was closed last night for an open house event. My house is even extra-empty with my daughter gone at her dad's till the end of the weekend. Although the peace and quiet is lovely after a very hectic 2 weeks, I am feeling a little lonely and inert. I will be happy when life's normal chaotic pace resumes next week.
One of many climbing walls at Climb So iLL .
I purchased a groupon that came out this week for a new climbing gym in the area and hope to try it out soon. Since my first climbing experience, I have wanted to go back and I am thrilled that another opportunity has come along. My good friend, 'Drea, has been acting as my climbing coach and makes me feel safe and secure in the harness dangling high up above the ground. The fear of heights that I often harbor somehow doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would during rock climbing. But then again, 'Drea is there to catch me in case I fall. Isn't it good to have friends in low places?
My personal practice is something that I have come to cherish. It has taken some work to get here though. I used to believe that you have to do everything like a "yogi" should, practice at 5 am, listen to music sung in sanskrit, eat only vegetables...these standards were intimidating and made me feel like if I didn't do it the right way I wasn't a real yogi. I have come to a new perspective about yoga, a broader one. On this journey, I am realizing that it is better for me to do things how they come instinctively to me. My feelings and intuition can be used as a compass that guides me towards what will fulfill me and keep me balanced. I am still moving towards integrating a more yogic lifestyle, but have relaxed my timeline. Instead of expecting this huge lifestyle change overnight, instead of pushing for what I think I should be or do, I have decided to proceed by first doing what naturally occurs to me and listening to my own inner wisdom. Trying to tune in to my own spirit and intuition while being mindful of each moment as it unfolds... This is yoga. This union of the body, mind, spirit and breath. It can happen anywhere...singing at the top of your lungs speeding down the highway with the wind in your hair, sipping that first cup of coffee in your quiet kitchen when the sky is still purple and day is breaking, when your child smiles at you and your whole being smiles back, in each moment is an opportunity to tap in and be totally present.
"We've come a long long way together
Through the hard times and the good.
I have to celebrate you baby,
I have to praise you like I should."
Today I am reminded that this is the goal of yoga, on and off your mat....follow your instincts, tap in, turn on, make yourself feel better, this instant! Get comfy, the best you can do in each situation. Let yourself shine, give yourself a fighting chance by being so kind and loving to yourself and making it easy for yourself to feel a sense of well being.....so this is my weekend of letting myself and my life flow and feeling good.
I followed my instincts and......I saw a bad horror movie at the theater and indulged...drank a huge cherry coke and ate buttered popcorn. Jumped 12 feet in the air screaming like a little girl at that spot in the movie when you are supposed to jump and Tim laughed so so hard I thought we might get kicked out. I taught a beautiful outdoor practice Saturday morning and let it all flow from me naturally, no notes in my composition book as usual. I left completely inspired by a lovely group of extraordinary yogis and by what can happen spontaneously when you just relax. Walked the few blocks to downtown Edwardsville and we had a lovely brunch at Cleveland Heath, of french toast with cream and cherry jam and a bloody mary ( I rarely drink so this was a fun instinct to follow). The combination of sweet and decadent, spicy and sour (and vodka and sugar) put me in a mellow, happy state. A slow stroll home and naptime called. Tried to get to my mat, but it felt better to do less and pamper my sore shoulder. Today I have had a peaceful morning of coffee and breakfast, and spending great downtime with my man and my dog...and I returned to the mat. It felt so good.
My dog, Bear E. White with favorite duck toy
For my personal practice following my instincts entirely has been the key to making it possible to stick with it. Listening to music is one thing that can make your home practice more fun and attractive to you. I'm not always inspired by Krisna Das chanting cds or instrumental harp music...which I have and listen to and love very much....but sometimes more contemporary tunes really lift me up. The music that inspires me is different everyday! So this morning instead of throwing on my standard Steve Gold cd (almost worn through--it's so good), I made an impromptu playlist quickly scrolling through my library and selecting anything that called to me. I got a truly fantastic mix that suited my mood perfectly. I found myself doing core work to Jackson Five, balancing to Beck, flowing to Gorillaz and backbending to the Black Keys. This practice was so deep and inspired for me--soulful and energetic, it was the best home practice I have had in a long long time and exactly what I needed in this moment. I loved the mash up of the beat and my breath, the music kept me moving and the sweat pouring off of me. By the end of the playlist, I was totally spent and lay on my mat in savasana, no sound remained except the soft blowing of the ceiling fan and my own breath. There is so much freedom in that moment, everything poured out on your mat, feeling your breath, being mindful and present. That freedom is the most beautiful thing about your own home practice.
My Personal Practice Playlist for Memorial Day 2012 :
Jackson Five "I Don't Know Why I Love You" "I Want You Back" "Dancing Machine"
Fatboy Slim "Praise You"
Gorillaz "All Alone" "All Alone" "Dirty Harry" "Last Living Souls"
Beastie Boys "Flute Loop" "Sabrosa" "Bodhisattva Vow" "Get It Together"
Busta Rhymes "Rastaman Chant"
Gnarls Barkley "Crazy"
Beck "Missing" "Black Tamborine" "Earthquake Weather"
Black Keys "Act Nice and Gentle" "Everlasting Light" "Tighten Up" "Have Love Will Travel" "Countdown"
Jamiroquai "Canned Heat 7th Edit" "Feels So Good" "Virtual Insanity" "You Give Me Something"
I am a sucker for Indian mythology. All of those tales of gods and goddesses are just irresistible to a literature buff and B.A. in English, like myself. The colorful characters and parables that describe them simply delight me and transport me to another world. The symbolism that shrouds these figures provides so much fodder for my story-writing mind. I have to say...this motley crew of elephant-headed, multi-limbed, super-powered deities could certainly entertain me for hours....
Meet Akhilandeshvari, the goddess of never not broken.
I love the tales of Shiva and Ganesha and have read some of the more obvious and commonplace stories of Indian mythology. However, this more obscure goddess, Akhilandeshvari takes the cake in my book! She comes to mind tonight because of the total emotional release that I apparently needed to have this afternoon. It took hold and I found myself in a heap on the floor crying my eyes out. As I dragged myself up and out the door to teach a class (thank goodness my students help me laugh and keep things in perspective) I couldn't shake this feeling of broken-ness.
Akhilandeshvari feels my pain. She teaches us that there is absolutely no other position more powerful. Her name tells her tale: "Ishvari" means powerful goddess and "Akhilanda" means never not broken. Clever use of wordplay in that even her Sanskrit name is broken (using double negative). So her power is in being broken and always having this total freedom to put herself back together in any which way she wants, never being limited and confined by being a whole, always existing in multiple selves. Lying in a broken heap you gain the ability to change your future self and release yourself from the past. Did I mention that she rides around on a crocodile? Yeah...she's a total badass!
Tim Ezell from Fox 2 news was at our hot yoga studio today filming a segment for his fun man-about-town spot on the morning program. We had very little information about what was going to happen once the camera crew got to the studio. We knew that they were concerned about the intense heat and humidity effecting the equipment. I was subbing for another teacher by chance this morning and it was my responsibility to cool the studio down before and during my 9:30 class so that the cameras wouldn't melt during the 11:00 filming. Needless to say, my hot yoga students were not very hot at all today. One student even caught my eye at one point and he gave me a little "brrrrr...I'm freezing over here in this nice 70 degree breezy room" look and a small shiver. Still, I did spy a few students who still managed to work up a sweat.
Not so hot yoga
With all of the doors and windows wide open, the studio was full of distractions....cars pulling in and out of Wal-mart parking lot, staff moving about in the office outside the yoga room, and yes even that delicious breeze was a distraction. I had a difficult time staying focused on the sequence, which is very rare. I wondered if my students were having just as hard a time concentrating on their practice. I tried to remind them that this is a great lesson in yoga. I told them that we have to learn to let go of all distractions and focus the mind and to remember that this is how all classes in India are--noisy and distracting. This is the practice...the art of ignoring!
The crew arrived and we set up for a shortened version of our normal 90 minute hot yoga sequence, with the owner leading the group. Our talent, Tim, is a goofy personality that demonstrates activities in a lighthearted manner, bringing a fantastic sense of humor to everything that he does. I noticed that he was much more good looking in person and much less nerdy and wasn't too bad at yoga.
Tim Ezell trying out another activity with a fun attitude.
I ended up right next to him and wound up being Bridget's demonstrator for most of the filming. This added a little pressure, not gonna lie. I thought, "Wow! I think if you want someone to work really hard at something just film them and threaten to air it on tv and they will work twice as hard as normal!" I did fall out of standing bow pose at least once and reminded myself to let go of my ego, but the rest went fairly well. It will be very interesting to see how the half hour of footage gets assembled for the 2 or 3 minute spot. I hope that it turns out well and the film of me falling doesn't make the cut....then again maybe another good lesson in yoga....accept your practice wherever you are!!
Just, please, if you happen to see it when it airs on tv, be gentle.....
Yesterday, I taught my first outdoor yoga class in Granite City and it didn't disappoint! I was a bit concerned that maybe nobody would show up. Of course, I was wrong and had a lovely group of yogis that came to share their energy with me. Sure, there were groups of giggling graduates taking photos behind us by the fountain in the park and there were a few emergency vehicles that flew by with sirens a-blazing. But overall, the group was focused and kind, the sun was shining and the breeze was warm. Truly, it couldn't have been a more inspiring day and practice! Favorite moment: students lying in savasana, birds singing.
After the outdoor class finished up, I took flight myself and soared along 270 to Edwardsville to teach my first ever private class at Hot Yoga. I couldn't ask for a better second, first class of the day! The two clients, who happen to be a few of my favorite students, booked this class for their friends and family to come and try out this "crazy workout" that they had been doing. I assumed that the newcomers were just nervous about attending a class with others who might be judgmental or more physically fit, etc. I was wrong...they were quite athletic and it was actually because they are all total cut-ups and had a very difficult time keeping it serious. What a fun class to get to teach! My favorite moment was when the whole class squatted down to get ready for standing forward fold and every knee in the building cracked or popped at the same moment! Got a great laugh!
(sounds overheard in yoga class)
I had an hour or so and ran home to take my second shower of the day. Then it was back to Hot Yoga for a vinyasa workshop with my teacher Emmet Schmelig. I was almost spent when I arrived back at the studio and the 2 hour practice of flow yoga polished me off nicely. It was an incredible practice. I was interested in being able to measure my own strength in comparison to where I was the first time I practiced with Emmet last September. I could barely do one chaturanga then. Now I am able to do everything in the practice and still keep my breathing steady and long. I even was able to bind in extended side angle and trikonasana, which I hadn't tried before. Favorite moment: my own savasana, listening to Emmet tell us that "you are perfect just the way you are."
my dear friend and teacher Emmet Schmelig
Finished the evening with a third shower, a large Dewey's pizza and an early bedtime.
Although every single tiny muscle in my entire body is sore today, there is a total contentment and calmness that is with me still. Yoga hangover...totally blissed-out!! I wouldn't have traded yesterday for anything! There is no question in my mind that it was a gift and a blessing. Namaste.
It's official...I mean really officially official...I am a registered yoga alliance trained instructor. You can look me up in the Yoga Alliance directory. I am on my way, officially! Playing by the rules and becoming a LEGIT yoga instructor has definitely been a lot of work, but so worth it. The training I have received is priceless, the most valuable thing I own I believe. I am working toward my E-RYT by logging in hours of teaching...once I get up to 2000 hours, I get to put that little E in front of my RYT. I think I have close to 60 now (they only count AFTER you complete the 200 hr training program).
All of this comes at a price, though, and makes me understand why there are many instructors who don't even bother with all of this stuff. Don't let all of us yoga teachers fool you....this business is expensive! You have to pay for your training, books, yoga clothes, mats, props, coconut waters to revive you, business cards, insurance, more yoga clothes, workshops, music and pedicures! Yikes! And don't forget to save every receipt you get now that you have to write it all off at the end of the year. The reason that all of this red tape is worth wading through is because I believe that its really important for there to be some kind of standard among teachers. Some type of measuring yardstick that helps studios and students find an appropriate and well-trained instructor. I can't help but sing, "Too LEGIT, too legit to quit!
I have a daily readings book that I read every morning. Today's passage was simple, "Nothing is missing." This little sentence says it all. Most of our lives are spent wishing we had _____ . It's time to realize that our souls are totally complete, our lives are exactly how they need to be and we are precisely where we should be regardless of where we think we are supposed to be.
This simple acceptance that "nothing is missing" in our souls, in our lives in our hearts....is the real key to finding contentment and happiness. This will be my mantra for the next few days: "Nothing is missing, everything is right." This life is a gift, each breath, each moment is so beautiful and important.
Breath deep, eat good food, laugh hard, sleep well.
It was interesting.....and really really hot. I teach hot yoga, so I expected to do alright with the heat in the studio and wasn't very nervous upon arrival. When we got to the studio, I had to fill out all of the necessary papers and waivers ensuring my family wouldn't sue when I began convulsing on my mat about halfway through the class. Then my "yoga hostess" gave me a run-down of all of the rules: no talking, no leaving the room and no small hand towels for wiping away sweat. I was cool with these rules and understood the reasoning behind them because we employ the same type of environment where I work....very disciplined!
I did well with the standing asanas, but once we hit the floor I had lots of trouble getting back up off of my back. I quickly found myself searching for all of the standard techniques that I normally use to engage my students when they are struggling. I was breathing in and out through my nose, utilizing my ujjayi breath, but my stomach would not stop lurching around. Spots lingered in front of my eyes as I tried to roll over. I was determined not to leave the room or throw up all over my neighbor either. I stayed on my back (like an over-turned turtle unable to right himself) and soon enough my "yoga hostess" popped by to check on me. She told me to release the constriction on my throat and let my breath come back to normal. The ujjayi breathing was actually building more heat in my body. As I let my breath come back to its natural rhythm my body began to settle down. I was even able to collect myself and peel my body off the mat for the final 3 or 4 poses.
It was challenging and intense, but I did enjoy the experience. I was surprised by how philosophical the hostess was, delving into the Yoga Sutras during our resting times and relaying a story about how her dog passed away last weekend. This is not what I expected! I had heard that Bikram teachers are robotic and more like bootcamp instructors than spiritual guides. When she started referencing the movie "I Am" I almost raised my hand to ask if I was hallucinating or not? I liked the spiritual lesson (her dog was named "Spirit") and really did sympathize with her, but at the time I would have preferred a drill sergeant--this compassionate character conducting class was not motivating me to move from my mat any faster. I did shed a tear or two at the final savasana, from exhaustion or sympathy for Spirit's passing, I still can't say. One thing I do know for certain, I will be back, Bikram.
Marilyn Monroe in bow pose. Click below to read the whole article.
Who knew that yoga could be glamorous? I had no idea, really. I never look like this is bow pose, that's for sure. As yoga gains in popularity, here in the United States, we are seeing more and more versions of yoga popping up: trendy yoga, themed yoga, hot yoga, pot-smokers yoga, it goes on and on. There is truly a yoga for every individual out there. What about the fashionistas, the glamour girls? Where do they fall into the mix? I think we need a new type of yoga for the girly girls, maybe serve some wine after and offer some facials and massage as well? Sounds great to me....but how to keep your hair looking so perfect after 20 down dogs? Hmmm.....
I keep finding myself doing what my daughter calls "random yoga poses" all over the place...standing in tree pose while casually chatting with a friend at the grocery store, kicking into headstands left and right, watching t.v. in bound angle pose and pictured above--painting in half moon pose. I think that it is of the utmost importance to make your yoga practice FUN! Yoga has recently infiltrated my life and filled it with joy and fullness. I think that is why it is spilling over into every other activity in my life...there is so much happiness that has come to me through yoga and now it is pouring back out of me!
I really do strive to live my yoga everyday in my life and not just by breaking out "random yoga poses" but by truly making each breath the first priority, appreciating my life and staying mindful always, keeping my union with my true self throughout every task and errand, loving wholly and completely...everyday. So, not taking my self or my practice too seriously is a nice way to remain playful and easy in my life. I want to be like a little child, curious and happy and always exploring. If yoga is my playground, I want to come home every night at dinnertime with dirty knees and scraped elbows, grinning ear to ear....all played out!
Now that I have completed my 200 hour yoga alliance certification, the real work begins. Jump starting a new career should be an arduous task, lots of hours studying markets and job listings, meetings and interviews. This is no life for a fun-loving yogi like myself. How do I reconcile this passion for yoga with the actual career aspect of yoga without losing my love and authenticity for yoga?
The business of yoga doesn't always seem to reflect the same ethics and guidelines as found in the actual practice of yoga. This is not an "aha" moment, this is a fact, one that we cannot avoid here in the United States. There are articles coming out proclaiming that our Eastern version of yoga is an inaccurate practice that does not maintain the roots in the Western philosophy and religions. There are articles about how yoga will ruin your body. The growth of yoga in our country means growth of the business of yoga, the merchandise, the big corporations and bad publicity. Will America make this ancient practice into McYoga?
My goal to remain faithful to my yoga practice without "selling out" becomes even trickier when I decided to teach yoga classes full time. The more I seemed to want to push into this new field, the more I felt resistance. It wasn't until I relaxed into the idea that the universe would provide me with what I need to succeed that I felt supported. Once I stopped worrying about where the next class would come from or how much I would get paid per student, everything fell right into place. Jobs started just appearing, phone calls coming in, facebook messages received. Now I have 3 sets of studio keys and plenty of work to do.
One of the things that I love the most about yoga is that it makes me feel free, in so many ways. The freedom that I have in my practice is priceless. I like to think about yoga as my playground and keeping that playful feeling toward yoga is essential!! You don't need $80 yoga pants or a designer mat made out of sacred crystals from Shiva Rea's rock garden. All you need to practice yoga is your mind and your body. Those are the only two pieces of equipment that you will ever need in order to maintain that practice. And faith. Faith that the universe will provide you with what you need to succeed. So keep your attitude and your heart light and wait patiently because there are some really incredible things in store for you too...if you believe!
I have been thinking about this passage from Patanjali's Yoga Sutras for almost a week now. I am totally captured by the clarity of the message here and the beautiful language urging me, "just keep coming to your mat and the awareness will come! Just show up! It's simple!" Practice yoga--the union of mind and body through meditation--and your attention will become focused and your thinking more clear. Practice yoga--do asanas--and you will find power and ease, strength and calm in each pose. I believe I have found a new mantra now, "Simply practice yoga." Or as Sri K Patthabhi Jois put it, "Do your practice and all is coming."
When I arrived at the newly renovated Peabody Opera House with my girlfriends yesterday, I had little idea how profound my day was about to be. We came to see the taping of Oprah's new Lifeclass the Tour in St. Louis. The tickets were free and when invited, of course I said yes enthusiastically and immediately--as I have recently become inclined to embrace opportunities every chance I get and who doesn't want to spend all day with your best friends and OPRAH? That's a no-brainer! So, I didn't think much about why I happened to end up in the audience that day...it was a random and lovely surprise...right? Some of the first words out of Oprah's mouth were these: "You are NOT here on accident. Each and every one of you are supposed to be here today." Boy, she was right! The message of the show was to live your life on purpose and with purpose, instead of merely floating life without awareness of why you are here.
"Use your passion as an indicator for your purpose," said Bishop T. D. Jakes, the guest speaker and influential leader and global humanitarian--Senior pastor of The Potter's House. This force of a man has been named "America's Best Preacher" by Time Magazine and is a wealth of inspiration and knowledge. The main message of his talk today was to find your purpose and live for that purpose. For those who have experienced struggle or strife, Jakes says to allow that experience to propel you toward your purpose.
The similarity between what I have been learning through Yoga and the lessons from Oprah's lifeclass tour was uncanny! The idea that you were put here on this earth for a specific purpose and that your work here is to evolve into the highest expression of yourself is the message of both my yoga teachings and Oprah's class. This is revolutionary and necessary thinking! Our modern Western world is consumed with racing to the top of the success ladder and doesn't often condone following your bliss. I am elated to see this wisdom being brought forth by leaders like Oprah and Bishop Jakes. Both are such influential leaders that I think they will be able to reach those who would not be drawn toward Yoga.
Oprah In St. Louis
This was an exciting experience, not only because it once again confirmed what I have learned and am still learning to embrace, but because it made me realize that we are not alone as seekers. there will soon be many more people looking for more in their lives, more people wanting to live their lives with purpose. The shift that is occurring in the minds of so many human beings is a natural response to our capitalistic society and the pressure to maintain a certain level of "success." We are moving from wanting a life full of material success and financial wealth to desiring one of personal fulfillment and purpose!
The times are indeed a-changin'! So support Oprah's OWN network if you can because I believe that she is truly sincere about bringing the world a new way of thinking about success. She is really attempting to change our world, one show at a time and bring to the masses a new way of living life. Bravo, Oprah, bravo!
I have been trying to master crow pose, AKA crane pose, for many years now without any luck. Although I have always been told that "it's all alignment" by every yogi I know that can do this pose, I have resisted this idea. My scrawny, weak upper body must be the culprit, I kept telling myself. When anyone would bring up that pose, I would cringe and exclaim "I can't do that one!" My bad attitude toward this poor asana was not helping me move any closer to getting up. The last time I tried to get into bakasana in a class I tipped to far forward and fell right on my head. It made a huge thud and the class below us came running upstairs to see what happened. Uh...just Cindy trying to do crow pose. I had almost given up on this asana until I came upon a video where the instructor was leading us through a challenging vinyasa and into a headstand. Boy, I thought to myself, I love inversions...this is my kind of yogi. Then she did the unthinkable...took us from a headstand into crow! She just gently rested those knees on the backs of her arms and voila...bakasana! After a few tries, I was able to balance, if only for a second or two, with my toes lifted off the ground and my forehead not hitting the floor in front of my face. Victory...well something like that, maybe more like..... Progress!!
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