The Doctor is IN

Climbing is good for your soul, at least mine and Tim's souls. We went to the new climbing gym in St. Louis, Climb So Ill....it was super ILL!! I even needed a doctor at one point, luckily Dr. Patti (resident climbing psychotherapist) was there to help me get used to the feeling of dangling in the air. I have a slight phobia of heights, it's no secret. I have been surprised at my level of calm when climbing and I think it is helping me defeat this fear. Although I tend to think of my phobia as silly, it is truly a self-preservation instinct to not want to plummet to your death. Patti explained that if I allowed myself to stay in that dangling place and wait it out, my body and mind have no choice but to relax. You can only stay at that panicky, heightened state for 10 minutes or so before you have to adapt and let go. It is the same with climbing. At first your body and mind wants to cling to that wall with every tiny fiber of your being, screaming internally...DON'T FALL!!

After a few routes, your body relaxes and your mind is able to accept that you are safe even if you do fall. Then the real fun begins, you are able to take more risks and let loose. So I climbed up with the intention of just hanging out at the top for a bit, staring down the distance between me and the floor. As I purposely dangled from a rope and looked down a few floors, I saw Patti and 'Drea, Tim and the rest (Mike, Jessica and Dave) waiting for me on the ground--smiling and supportive. After about 5-10 minutes, I was able to relax, sit back in the harness and even gaze down beneath me to the ground without grasping for the rope or generally freaking out! I found my breath and my heartbeat slowed, Patti was right--you can only panic for so long. It was a really beautiful moment for me and I feel like I have left some of that fear behind me, or maybe above me.

Peace at the top!

For Tim it was a different type of therapy. He had been so stressed out with work, which is fairly common lately, and I wasn't sure if that stress would interfere with his climbing. In true Tim-form, it didn't. I expected him to be terrific at climbing from the get-go, and I was right. Tim is determined and focused and loves a good puzzle. The total concentration that climbing requires is fantastically therapeutic! You can only focus on what is happening in this very moment, where you are going next and how to get there. It allows for no other worries or troubles to creep into your mind. You are forced to leave it all behind. Exactly what Tim needed! We had some lunch with our new climbing crew and it was a great day all-around. On the car ride home, I noticed a big grin spread across Tim's face (haven't seen that grin in a while) and a lighter note in his voice as we talked about how much fun we had and when we could come back again. It's been a long time since I have seen Tim at ease in that way, blissed out a little really, and it made me so happy to see him relax and share this fun day with me and some really special friends.

                                                            "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley